Taupe NY

 I meant to post on Election Night, but I was way too distracted and anxious. I'm still distracted and anxious, but I also feel restless, thus why I'm writing now. The pandemic has thrown an already contentious election into whatever is higher than high gear. My rosacea is flaring up (or at least it feels like it), my attention span is scattered, my heart is racing, and my mood is tanking. As of 10pm EST, Joe Biden is ahead. I am still way too scarred after the 2016 election results to breathe a sight of relief just yet. Tie that in with the dreaded TWW, and I am a ball of anxiety. I have been doing my normal routine of cleaning, cooking, checking emails, and chatting with friends (is it any coincidence that all these calming activities begin with the letter "c" including the word "calm"? Am I officially going crazy by noticing this?). I am torn between keeping up with the news by being glued to the TV, but also trying to keep my sanity by being productive. ...

 I'm now in the dreaded "TWW" period which I learned during my trying-to-conceive journey, stands for "Two Week Wait". When I asked my gyno about the best ways to track my ovulation, best chances at conceiving, and early signs of pregnancy, she told me with the slightest hint of exasperation that the traditional methods work best. This means having sex as often as possible to not miss any "window", not rely too much on apps (although she mentioned it was fine as an aid to record data to reference), and a missed period is the only true indication of even a possibility of being pregnant. Basically she was saving me a good deal of money that I would otherwise be spending on ovulation strips and such. I don't think there's anything wrong with purchasing these aids though, but as someone who is furloughed from my job, I do appreciate hearing that those extras are not totally necessary. Furthermore, I think it's best to learn as much as possible ...

I always knew I wanted children "one day", but I just didn't know which day that was. Even when I was in serious relationships, even when I was thinking of marriage, I wasn't so sure about kids. That is, until I met my now husband over three years ago. More on that romance another time.  Fast forward to the present; we're both in our 30s, and just celebrated our 1-year anniversary over the summer and ready to create a family together. I admit, neither one of us did a whole lot of research but soon realized we should have before taking the plunge. We have only been TTC (Trying To Conceive) for 2 ovulation cycles (going on the third), which resulted in me crying when I got my period both times. Thank goodness for my husband, who keeps me positive and sane. He reminded me that we only just started, and that there are couples who try for years, so while I'm justified to be disappointed, I shouldn't be stressing myself out by being this upset at such an early s...