UNITED STATES OF ANXIETY

 I meant to post on Election Night, but I was way too distracted and anxious. I'm still distracted and anxious, but I also feel restless, thus why I'm writing now. The pandemic has thrown an already contentious election into whatever is higher than high gear. My rosacea is flaring up (or at least it feels like it), my attention span is scattered, my heart is racing, and my mood is tanking. As of 10pm EST, Joe Biden is ahead. I am still way too scarred after the 2016 election results to breathe a sight of relief just yet. Tie that in with the dreaded TWW, and I am a ball of anxiety.

I have been doing my normal routine of cleaning, cooking, checking emails, and chatting with friends (is it any coincidence that all these calming activities begin with the letter "c" including the word "calm"? Am I officially going crazy by noticing this?). I am torn between keeping up with the news by being glued to the TV, but also trying to keep my sanity by being productive. However, all I want to do is keep tabs on the election results, anyone with me?

In regards to voting; I mailed in my ballot in late September, and saw that it was received and approved. I admit I am one of those people who just voted for "anybody but Trump". I am not going to White Knight Biden-Harris here, but I believe we deserve a president who wants to be president to ALL AMERICANS, not just the 1% and not just the people who voted for him. No political leader is a saint, nor should they be. You have to roll up your sleeves and roll in the mud to get shit done. However, a true leader of the American people does not aim to stoke the fire of racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, xenophobia, and completely deny science. 

There are a handful of people near and dear to me who I discovered were Trump voters. I will specifically call them "Trump voters" and not "Trump supporters" because I don't believe in painting everyone with the same brush. Though learning of their voting preferences disappointed me, I also know that they're not the MAGA hat wearing fanatics that are protesting mask wearing while waving their assault rifles around. With that said, I am still deeply perplexed and hurt that they are letting their one or two main priorities that they THINK the Trump administration will support, cloud their judgment and conveniently allow them to block out all the pain, hurt, violence and hate this administration has practically welcomed with open arms. Their support for someone like 45 contradicts American values; they want the right to suppress the rights of others, or at least they are complacent. My hope is that they can see the error of their ways someday, because I still love them and believe they can be saved from "the dark side".

Lastly, I want to say that no matter what the election results are, this is still OUR COUNTRY. No president is a dictator, and their supporters are not their personal military. The president works FOR US, THE PEOPLE. So make him work.

In closing, I would like to balance out the negativity by drawing attention to an organization that has come to mean a lot to me: SAFE HORIZON. This NYC organization provides resources to help victims and survivors of violence and abuse; domestic violence cases have increased exponentially during the pandemic, highlighting yet another devastating effect of COVID-19 related tragedies. In a time where we're divided by hate, fear, and denial, please choose compassion.