TTC

I always knew I wanted children "one day", but I just didn't know which day that was. Even when I was in serious relationships, even when I was thinking of marriage, I wasn't so sure about kids. That is, until I met my now husband over three years ago. More on that romance another time. 

Fast forward to the present; we're both in our 30s, and just celebrated our 1-year anniversary over the summer and ready to create a family together. I admit, neither one of us did a whole lot of research but soon realized we should have before taking the plunge. We have only been TTC (Trying To Conceive) for 2 ovulation cycles (going on the third), which resulted in me crying when I got my period both times. Thank goodness for my husband, who keeps me positive and sane. He reminded me that we only just started, and that there are couples who try for years, so while I'm justified to be disappointed, I shouldn't be stressing myself out by being this upset at such an early stage of our attempts. I needed that. What I realized I also needed was a female to talk to. As patient and as supportive as my husband is, he doesn't completely understand what it feels like for me, physically, mentally, and emotionally. For this, I'm grateful that I have my best friend to confide in. She has a beautiful toddler and is a wealth of information when it comes to advice on these matters.

Who I didn't find helpful were my parents; they both called me up out of the blue a couple months ago to ask why I haven't thought about having a child yet. "You've been in lockdown for months, this is the perfect time to be pregnant", they both said. They're what you may call "old school" and if you have immigrant parents, you know the feeling ten-fold. I was mostly appalled that my father would ask this question of me; it's already inappropriate coming from anyone, let alone my almost 70-year old dad who is a man who has never had to carry or push a baby out of his body. I'm very close to my mother so it didn't surprise me that she asked me this question several times since I've been married. I finally had enough and told them both that if they asked me again, I will just flat out not try to have a baby at all. That shut them up. (And it felt great to draw boundaries with them). 

So what have we been doing for us, during our process to conceive so far? We cleaned up our diets, (eating whole, nutrient-dense foods, limited our dairy, alcohol, and sugar intake), I am exercising more often but in shorter and less intense sessions (my husband hates exercise so it's been a struggle, but he is on his feet for most of the day at work so that's something), are more mindful of our stress levels and sleep patterns, and have been taking pre-natals (me) and fish oil (him) for the past 3 months. We are still looking for ways to improve our health, not only just for fertility's sake, but also for our overall well-being. I noticed other benefits, which is a silver lining; my skin and gut health have improved drastically! I also started utilizing apps more to log my period and track my fertility window. I use Kindara and Flo primarily. I saw my gyno recently and she said that while the apps are helpful to "log and predict" based on data I enter, that I shouldn't be so reliant them. The best thing to do is to have sex more often. Hey, if the doctor says so.. :)

Finally, we tried Pre-Seed Fertility Friendly Lubricant for the first time. The lubricant "mimics your own fertile fluids so sperm can swim freely". I first read about it through a fertility/TTC Q&A post from a lifestyle blog, and then I kept seeing recommendations seemingly everywhere. The application was a bit tricky; I admit I was so nervous! I rarely use tampons so it was definitely weird using the "syringe" which is basically an applicator for the lubricant. I read the instructions twice and watched a couple of Youtube videos before I even opened up the box. For $20 and countless recommendations and positive reviews, it was worth a shot.

Before I go, I wanted to share a link to sign up for a free Zoom interview featuring Dr. Breanna Guan, hosted by Kindara tomorrow, September 25th. Dr. Guan is a women's health and hormonal expert and will be discussing PCOS symptoms, treatments, and fertility. Though I don't have PCOS, I think this will be super informative. If you can't make it, all registrants will be sent a link to the recording and a transcript will be made available on their blog. Register here.

What are some resources that were helpful during your TTC journey?